HI all. I haven't blogged lately. I wasn't sure where to start, but here goes.
WARNING.
Don't read this if you are on your way out or only have 5 minutes. It's a little LONG.
On Friday the 17th of September, I lost the most influential and wonderful woman in my life-my Mum.
I started this blog just for her to keep up on our lives when we lived so far away.
I wondered whether to continue, but I think I will as I find it helpful to get my thoughts out of my head and onto "something".
Mum was a lovely lady and although she could really frustrate me like all Mother's, I loved her with every fibre of my being.
Mum had a brain tumour that was benign, but large and in a not so great place. It affected balance and memory just to name a few things. Mum was receiving treatment and was looking at an operation to remove it (of which she was terrified). Sadly, the operation wasn't to be and after a fall where she hit her head on the car, the trauma to her head (unbeknown to her ) had started the tumour bleeding, and in the end caused a massive stroke which ended her life.
I spoke to her every 2nd day as she was struggling with her health as a direct result to the tumour, and asked her if she was sure that thing wasn't leaking......... It was.
Early Friday morning at 6.45am, my beautiful Mum left us for her heavenly home. That day-that moment, I felt the gears of my life change.
I am now an adult.
We (I have a brother and a sister) wanted Mum's funeral to be a celebration of her life as she lived a life worth celebrating, so we set to work uncovering "Mum" and the things that made her, 'her'. We have been so richly blessed by what we found, and what we already knew.
Some people go through their lives wondering if they were loved. Mum told us all the time and going through her computer, she had written the "memoirs" of her life. What a huge gift to us.
Mum was much loved by all who met her-she had a way with people. I have never known a person to be such an accurate judge of character and to have the capacity to love everyone.
I miss her immensely, and can't imagine a life without her.
My darling Dad has to start again as well after 57 years of marriage. THAT is the kicker for me. Dad on his own. I can't imagine how you would do that after so many years with the love of your life. He hasn't thrown the towel in by a long shot and is learning to cook and has had lessons in the washing machine previously in the year by Mum. Almost like she was training him for this time.
I wonder if she knew, or made a conscious decision not to seek medical treatment. I will never know, and in the long run, it won't matter. Her life had become quite difficult and she was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Mum's faith in God never faltered, and I know this by a couple of conversations I had with her. I was brought up in a Christian family, and I know what happens when you die. I am not afraid, nor an I concerned as to where Mum has 'gone', and I know she will be waiting for me when it is my turn. Her 'interim mode of transport'might be in the earth, but her soul is long gone to a far better place than this one.
To those that have supported us, whether with prayers, loving thoughts, cards, phone calls, food and presence, we THANK YOU.
Mum is in heaven now, free of all the burdens that weighed her down in her earthly life, but she left us with this poem she wrote, and I would like to share it here.
WITH LOVE FROM ME TO YOU
MY THANKS TO YOU ALL FROM MY HEART
MY BEAUTIFUL FAMILY LIKE NO OTHER
MY LOVING AND SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS
MY SIBLINGS PLUS ALL OTHERS WHO HAVE TOUCHED MY LIFE'S’ JOURNEY IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER.
AS I SIFT THROUGH LEAVES OF MY MEMORIES,
ALL YELLOWED AND SCATTERED AROUND,
THESE DAYS, THERE’S SO LITTLE OF YESTERDAY,
FURTHER BACK IS WHERE MEMORIES ARE FOUND.
WE CANNOT PLAN OUR LENGTH OF LIFE,
BUT FAMILY CAN BE SURE,
THAT WE LOVED THEM ALL SO DEARLY,
AND THEIR LOVE FOR US MEANS MORE.
Clara Allen April 2010
Thank you,
Stay Beautiful
K XX
