Is that HAIR on my palm?

Just lately, I have been noticing hair growing where it didn't used to grow. For example, I have hair, BLACK hair growing midway up my thigh, like some geographically confused hair from my nether region. What's with that? I have also found hair growing behind my knee and THAT one is black and curly. I also have a mole on my face sprouting like a long forgotten sea anemone, not to mention the hair I like to call Neil on one nipple.
I am starting to feel a little neanderthal and thought at the grand age of 37 I might be about to meet the dwarves of peri-menopause- itchy, bitchy, sweaty, sleepless, bloaty, forgetful, psycho, and my favourite....................seething. I feel all of these things in about an hour some days.
I have spent so much time in my life trying to REMOVE hair from places it SHOULD be and now I am hit with growth where it SHOULD'NT. What hide! What gall! So unfair.
So off to the doctor to have a chat about Neil the nipple hair and his habits. Blood test tomorrow. Called Mum, as surely she will know something, only to be comforted by the words..." I started THE CHANGE after I had you". She was 38 when I was born. By my maths calculations, I have about 7 months until I turn 38, so time surely must be running out before my ovaries reduce themselves to sultanas and the dwarves move in as housemates. Seriously, I don't have time for this. Heck, I don't have time to once again remove the hair that SHOULD be there and has crept back like mould on a crust of bread. Is menopause something to look forward to or to fear? Up side is the off button is flipped and every month is calm, cool and collected................or not.
Until then I will ride the storm, and perhaps I will take the time to have a mid-life crisis, so as not to disrupt the family too much.
In the mean time.....I'm off...I am going to investigate a certain fuzz on my palm. Well, it is a full moon I suppose!!

Stay beautiful,
K xx